Sometimes you just have to laugh to keep from crying or throwing your computer across the room, or both. My sister sent to be a link to an article from 2011 titled, and I quote: “Top Twelve Reasons Why So Many Good Black Men Are Still Single”. After reading the first reason I knew, a response to this epic bullshit would make a great #singlegirlproblems post.
The post can be found here at the afro.com and the oh so “informative podcast” that is referenced, “The Victory Unlimited Show”, is well from this black woman’s point of view, the reason why any good black man who listens to the show is still single.
If you have glanced at the post and have comeback to reality, you know why I am so hype. I mean really dude? Really? My resting bitch face is so on point right now, so without any further delay here is my response to: “The Top Twelve Reasons Why So Many Good Black Men Are Still Single: (disclaimer: please do not drink anything while reading this. I am not responsible for any damage to your computer caused by your drink flying out of your mouth.)
1.) They keep meeting woman with unrealistic expectations for what they want in a man. I’m so sorry if I want a man to have a job and a place to live. Last time I checked that wasn’t unrealistic, it was called being a responsible adult.
2.) They keep meeting women who put them in the wrong category by writing them off to quickly as not being “their type”. Your type may be video vixen. I am not a vide vixen. Therefore, I am not your type. The end. It’s very cut and dry when you think of it that way.
3.) They’re not wanted because they are not needed. Too many women have told them they don’t “need” a man. I don’t need a man to pay my bills or take care of me. I need a man to be a companion, husband, father, soul mate, my other half. If you can’t handle that then guess what Boo? You’re absolutely right. I don’t need you.
4.) They keep meeting black women who don’t respect them just because they “are” black men. And I want you to respect me for being a black woman. Respect is a two-way street. To get respect, you have to give it. Plan and simple.
5.) They keep failing women’s Girlfriend Approval Test. If the woman’s friends don’t like them, then they woman won’t give them a chance either. I value my girlfriends’ opinions. They speak the truth. You may be speaking to get me in bed. Guess who I am going to trust?
6.) They keep meeting women who are not interested in them, but only in how much money they make. Then stop flaunting your money around like freakin’ Floyd Mayweather. Guess what? If all you do is buy a woman things, they will only see you as a wallet. Start being a man and she will see you as one.
7.) They’re nobody until somebody loves them. Not enough women see them as a prize unless they see a lot of other women chasing after them first. Doesn’t your mother love you? I can’t responsible for your deep rooted, “Mommy didn’t give enough hugs when I was 4 complex”. As Mama Rupaul always says,” If you can’t love yourself, how the hell you gonna love somebody else? Can I get an Amen”? Yes, Honey. Amen.
8.) They meet too many women who don’t really know what they want. Do you know what you really want? Let’s be serious. Do you know what type of women you are looking for? You can’t say that a woman doesn’t know what she wants if you can even begin to articulate what you want.
9.) They meet too many women who believe that single, good black men are “too good to be true.” Le sigh. How many black men think a smart, single, educated black woman is too good to be true? Well here I am.
10.) They’re the right man at the wrong time. Life is all about timing. Maybe she is not into dating right now? Maybe you failed to see that she is married right now. Maybe you didn’t notice that she didn’t want to talk to you right now.
11.) They meet too many women who don’t recognize a good man when they see one. Many black men don’t recognize a good black woman when they see one. (Drops mic and walks away.)
12.) They don’t promote all the great things about themselves boldly or consistently enough to enough women. So you need to be put on a pedestal with your accomplishments scrolling behind you like movie credits for you to feel good about yourself? That sounds like a personal problem, Bro.
Not one of these reasons has anything to do with the man. Not one. It is really easy to say, I am single because everyone else it messed up. Maybe you need to get your shit together, figure out what you want in life and then go get it. That’s what you want women to do. We need to have it all. In shape, educated, financially stable, look good, smell good, dress well, hair done, nails, done, cook, clean, help you, help the family. The list goes on. But of course, as soon as this is brought to a man’s attention it’s, “Nah, we just want you to be yourself.” But when I am myself, I’m not all that you want me to be, therefore, not good enough for you. It’s a fucked up dynamic.
While you figure out what you want and please take your time, I’m gonna be over here. Still single.