Tag Archives: conversations

Offically CertiCIZEd

Since being introduced to Beachbody, I have taken a lot of leaps
of faith: Became a coach to help people live their best lives, completed
intense workout programs that I would have never attempted before, and learned
that I am stronger and more resilient than I ever thought. So why not take
another flying leap and sign up to be a CIZE Live instructor. Well, that’s
exactly what I did.
Right before the start of it all 

You all know that I love CIZE! I cannot sing its praises
enough, but I’ll try. It is such an amazing way to tone, tighten and have fun.
I won’t call it exercise, because it’s not. It’s dancing. You really dance like
music video dance, and work up a major sweat while doing it. So when I saw that
that Beachbody had a certification program, I jumped at the chance. I wanted to
get certified at our annual Summit in July, but that was not in the cards. Where
there is a will, there is a way. I searched and found a class 40 minutes away from
my house. Sold.

Last Saturday, I nervously drove to the Newton Athletic club
hoping that I would not run into any accidents or road closures along the way.
I made it there in one peace and on time and came face to face with a friend
and idol in my head, Tania Baron.
If you have every done any Shaun T workout you know “The
Machine.” She would be my CIZE Instructor. I die. I would be learning from the
same person who helped develop the actual program with Shaun T. I was one
degree away from one of my fitness heroes. Swoon and pass out. I really didn’t
know what I was getting myself into and a majority of the class didn’t either. Would
there be a test at the end? Would I have to audition in front of Tania? Hopefully
not because I would have peed my pants. After some general housekeeping and
introductions, it was time to work.
We learned the current CIZE Round. OMG. The energy from Tania
and the rest of the class was insane. I had a complete sweaty blast. I wanted
to do it all over again after I caught my breathe. Even though I missed a
couple of steps here and there, I was starting to get it. We had lunch and like
the rest of the class, I lost it. How can you forget an hour’s worth of work in
30 minutes? From experience, it is pretty easy to do. But not to worry, Tania gave
us a refresher course and we were then broken up into smaller groups to
practice how to cue the moves.

Just imagine telling people
the next move two beats before they do it, while trying to remember the move
itself. Ridic hard. But no one complained if someone made a mistake. We helped
each other through it and by the end I kinda got. We then took turns breaking
down 8 counts and teaching them to our group. Again, everyone was super helpful
which helped this total novice shake of some nerves and begin to build up
confidence.
How fun does this look? Totes? Because it was!

And before we knew it, class was over and we were certified
to teach! Tania was gracious enough to stay behind for pictures. It was pretty
cool that Shaun T said hi to us through a text (squeal).

I drove home in complete shock of what I had just done. I was
now certified to teach a class. What??? Never in a million years did I think
that was even an option. SMH that is insane. But true.

Me and Mama T! She loved my shirt

You never know what you are capable of until you go out
there and CIZE it up.

I’ll be sure to tell you when my first class is!
Later Days!

B

#singlegirlproblems

Thanks to C. Bug for commenting on my last #SGP post!  I know it was a while ago. Sorry about that 🙁 But thanks to her comment, I have decided to be bold and take action to solve my #singlegirlproblems. That’s right folks, Bianca is officially on the prowl. This tigress is ready to roar!

Should be Nala, but you get the idea

Time to buck and hit the social scene! And why not start out with a bang. Two events this weekend… Three if you count my normally scheduled bi-weekly happy hour. Yes, this girl is in it to win it, and by it, I mean a man. Just like C. Bug said, I need to be bold and just do it! So that is what I am going to do! And it scares the crap out of me. Feel the fear and do it anyway!

We all know about my lack of small talk skills and how I am “great” I am at meeting new people, so this will be a giant leap out of my solo comfort zone a snuggly goodness. But it is a leap that have to make if I ever want to be in a relationship, let alone get married and have kids. I guess they are right when they say the thing that scares you the most will bring you the greatest joy.

I hope they are right about that…

I guess I need to set some realistic expectations for myself. Like “Bianca, there is a 99.99% chance that your Prince Charming may be at this party on Sunday, but do not look for him in that has his pants below his ass. You have standards sweetheart.” But how do you let your guard down without seeming totally desperate? And is there a way to correct resting bitch face? If anyone knows, please pass your secret on to m

I could make a list of a thousand reasons why I should stay home and watch the Golden Girls while eating a pint of coconut milk ice cream, but where would that get me? Right where I am. A Single gilr with a lot of problems.

But something to so this week is not one of them!

Later Days
B

Thalassemia – The Verdict

What up Peeps! When we last left our heroine, she was in search  of, or confirmation of the cause of her ridiculously low iron levels. Sorry, I had to got there. At times during the past few months, this journey has felt like a soap opera. I haven’t been to the doctors this much in my entire life. Well after months of taking iron pills, revamping my diet, and adding more vitamin supplements than are humanly possibly thanks to Frankie (7 pills), my iron levels are amazing! And my addiction to ice is gone! Like completely non-existent. Talk about a complete 180.

By now, I am a professional at getting blood taken

I went from 6.2 (should not have been unconscious) in January, to 9 in April, to a whopping 13 yesterday. My doctor was shocked at how much my levels increased. She even said my numbers were “beautiful”. Say what?!? I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I am only taking one iron pill a day instead of two. Whoops! Let’s keep that between us shall we? I’m still on iron pills for another 4 months, but after that , long medium size red pills that are not covered by insurance!

She was so impressed with my numbers that I had to remind her about the whole Thalassemia thing. And guess what??? I have the trait!!! Why am I so hype? Because I finally have confirmation that there is something funky going on with my blood! It’s one thing to assume that there is something going on, but it’s totally different and liberating to have confirmation. Now if I go get some blood work done and my iron count is low, they won’t call me frantically at work telling me to
go to the ER and then be told that I need a blood transfusion. Hooray.

There is one caveat. Of course there is always something right? If I so happen to meet someone who also carries the trait, our potential children could have Beta Thalassemia, the actual disease. I won’t go into specifics but it’s not good…

So there you have it. I’m just a girl with the Thalassemia trait living in the real world. It’s just another thing that make me, me!

Later Days
B

#singlegirlproblems

So where does a girl who has #singlegirlproblems go to meet
guys? And please don’t tell me the grocery store. I hate grocery shopping
anyway. Adding the tasks of scoping out potential companions while picking out the perfect bag of grapes will just send me off the deep end. Obviously my OK Cupid experiment is bust if I can’t
get past messages with bad grammar and men with atrocious usernames. So it’s on to good, old fashion meetings.
It is the summer and being cooped up in the house staring at
the furry ones (as appealing as it may sound) is not how I intend to spend these next few glorious months. Where should I go? What should I do? AHHHH!
I’m serious. It’s not like I am a crazy cat lady and stay
in my apartment all the time. I do go out to social events and happy hours, but
I suck at mixing and mingling. Like , really suck at it. Small talk and chit chatter aren’t my thang. Which I guess is why I am still single. But who doesn’t
like a good happy hour special after a crazy day at work?

 

Or maybe the social setting is not the problem. Maybe it’s
me and a lack of social skills. I think I am a pretty sociable person. I mean I
talk to people, but am I not sociable enough? I don’t want to fling myself on a
guy or seem to needy. We all know that is not me.What is a single girl to do!!!! I’m asking for any tips, tricks, suggestions, anything. I’m at my wits ends on this one. I literally don’t know what to do with this one!

Something to ponder over ice cream or several bottles of wine…. I’ll go with the wine!

Later Days

B

Hola Amigos!

This year, I decided to expand my horizons and skills with
personal development. This goes above and beyond the books that I read (or
should be reading) daily as well as my 52-week Bible reading plan. This is
about adding a skill that will make me more well-rounded and be useful at some
point down the line. How about learning another language?
I had taken Spanish in middle and high school and I remember
bits and pieces of it. Please don’t ask me to translate a doctoral thesis or anything,
but just enough to kind of make it in case of an emergency.
Everyone knows about Rosetta Stone. The simple and fast way
to learn a language for only $229 for sets 1-3 on Amazon. Yeah, this chick does
not have the financial freedom to shell out 200 bucks to learn a
language. But, I do have the internet and can download the Duolingo app on my
phone, iPad, and use their webpage for free. 
That’s right folks. I am learning
Spanish for free! 
This program is super easy to use and fun. Each lesson takes
less than 10 minutes to complete, so you can go through multiple lessons in a
day. There are multiple choice, written and audio translation questions
throughout each lesson and some are repetitive to make sure you get the
information. 
Duolingo also makes you strengthen your skills so you do not
forget words or phrases. The program also sends you push notifications and
email reminders to complete your daily lesson. You also get points that you can
use to freeze your learning streak or learn how to flirt in Spanish (seriously,
I just took the lesson). And all of this from the comfort of your home or
phone. I usually do this on the train in the morning on my way to work.
Don’t want to learn Spanish? Interested in Italian, French,
or Esperanto? No fear! Duolingo has to covered. For free.
Vamanos a duolingo.com ahora! (Go to duolingo.com now!)
Later Days

B

The Big D

All of you get your dirty little minds out of the gutter. I
am not talking about that. I do try to keep this blog somewhat PG except for
some four letter words sprinkled throughout just for flavor.
The big D that I referring to is depression. No one ever
wants to admit that they suffer from it. It’s so much easier to put on a big
fake smile and go through the motions of your day until you can get home, curl
up in a ball under the covers, and cry. Sounds like I know a thing or two about
it. Yeah, because I have suffered with depression for years.
There will be a lot of people who know me who will stare at
that last sentence wondering how I hid it so well. They will look back at
conversations and meetings to see if there were any signs that they may have
missed. Where there? Absolutely. But it’s easier to hide the pain instead of
fessing up to the truth. My depression wasn’t constant. It came in waves caused
by some stressful experience or situation. Project at work not going right,
lost my job and struggling to make ends meet, overworked and severely
underpaid, giving up hobbies that I loved because I couldn’t afford them, and
watching people have a good time when I couldn’t. Those have been triggers for
me. It would take every ounce of my being just function, to get out of bed and
go on like nothing was wrong. And very few people know the physical toll that
depression takes. It hurts. I remember how hard it was to physically sit up,
put both feet on the ground, get out of bed, and continue living.
But by the grace of God this is as far as it went. I haven’t
been on medication, probably would have been prescribed something if I went to
a therapist, but that wasn’t an option because, at my lowest point, I didn’t
have the best insurance and I didn’t want people, even my family to know the
truth.
Call it pride. Call it a protection mechanism. But why cause
more mental anguish by telling people that you are not well. Letting people
know what is going on with you tends to lead to questions. What happened? Why
don’t you just move on? You are not depressed, get over yourself. Shake it off
and move one. If it were that easy, there wouldn’t be Prozac would there…..
So what changed? And for the record I still get depressed.
But how to fight it? For me it has been working out and Beachbody. I found
Beachbody almost two years ago when it seemed like nothing was going right. I
was holding on to the promise of a pay raise, struggling not to make ends meet,
but to pull them closer together, and trying to keep some resemblance of a
normal life when everything seemed to be crumbing around me. I needed something
to take my mind off of what was not going right in my life, which felt like everything.
I needed something to do at home since hanging out was not an option. So for
some reason, I answered a random post on Instagram to join a Beachbody challenge
group. And it was the best decision I have ever made. Working out gave me a way
to get rid of my stress and I was a part of a group of people who were supporting
each other as we began our fitness journey. I had found my tribe.
And you know what. The two months of T25 came and went. I wanted
to quit lots of times, but I felt like I would be letting everyone else down in
the group if I did. This was the first time I actually finished an entire
workout program and I wanted more. Now, I can’t go a day without working out. It
is my therapy. A good sweat makes me happy (crazy I know, but it works for me).
I wake up every morning and press play. Sometimes it is a struggle but I know
that if I don’t get my workout in, I will be in a bad mood for the rest day. And
if I have had a tough day at work, I’ll work out again in the evening just to
make everything right with the world.
But working out is my thing, maybe it will work for you. But
everyone is different. If you are battling depression try to find something to
take you mind off of things. Go for a walk, listen to music, read a book.
Anything. And if things are really bad, please go see a professional for help.
I haven’t gotten to where I am overnight. It’s been a long
journey and one that I am still on. I know that I will have good days and bad
days and will have to deal with my depression here and there, and that’s ok.  But it’s like Dory says… “Just keep swimming.”
Later Days!

B

#singlegirlproblems

If you can’t love yourself, how the hell you gonna love
somebody else? Can I get an amen” ~RuPaul

The amazing RuPaul said it best. You have to love yourself
before you can even thinking about loving someone else.
How are you going to let someone love you if you don’t even
love yourself? Seriously? If you don’t know what love you want, how are you
going to ask for or accept it?
This goes back to last week’s post – what are your
standards? Are you looking for love in all the wrong places or are you looking for
the wrong kind of love? Or do you even know what you are looking for? Take a
moment to think about that?
Having trouble figuring out what is your “love type”? Try
this… date yourself.
Ok, I see you glaring at the computer screen thinking that
is already crazy girl has completely gone off the deep end with this one. And I
will admit it…. This takes some guts, but it is a completely liberating
experience. And you may find it addicting. I have!
Here are a couple of ways to find out what you want –
1.) Take yourself out on a date: I try to do this once a
month. Usually on a Saturday, I will go to a restaurant, get a table for one, eat,
and do some work. Yup, that’s it! Sometimes, I’ll treat myself to a movie as
well (if it’s in the budget). You’ll be amazed at how relaxing it is to sit at
a table by yourself and get be in the moment. Trust me, it is totally worth it.
2.) Go on vacation by yourself: I haven’t done this, well I
kind of have, but a solo vacay is in the works! On my recent trip to Disney
World, my friend had to work so I had a few hours to kill before her shift was
over. I could have stayed in the hotel and slept (which may have be the
responsible thing to do) but nooooooo, this is Disney World for crying out loud!
I changed in the hotel bathroom, had lunch and drinks at the bar while my phone
charged, and off to Epcot I went… by myself. And I has so much fun shopping,
getting on rides, and drinking my way through the World Showcase.
Now, after you have done either 1 or 2, analyze your experiences.
How did these outings make you feel? What did you like or did not like about
your date?
After going through these exercises, when you are on an
actual date, remember how you felt when you dated yourself. If the other person
does not make you feel or treat you better than you treated yourself, guess
what? They have got to go!
I know that I sound like a broken record, but repletion is
key! It’s all about what you! Yes, it may sound selfish and it is, but if you
don’t put yourself first, everyone will put yourself last. I’ll let that sink
in for a minute or a week 😉
So love yourself… so you can love someone else! Can I get an
amen!
Later Days!

 

B

#singlegirlproblems

Right after my birthday this year, I asked my girlfriends to
help me on my quest to find a man. Along my with this request was a list of 10 criteria
for any potential suitors. While some may see such a list as extensive or
picky, I am at a certain age where I know what I want. But is that a bad thing?
Am I sabotaging a relationship by casting such a narrow net?
No.
Yup, I said it. Look I’m 34, no kids, job, apartment, and a car.
I am officially in Unicorn status. And I know that there may be other male unicorns
out there, but I will not be a spinster for the rest of my life because I
cannot find this elusive creature.
But…. And this is a huge but. I will not settle for the
first male with a pulse, who can speak English, and shows an ounce of interest
in me. Settling for the one who is right here right now as my biological clock
is ticking like a train horn in my ear is not the solution to my current
situation.
Yes I want to get married. Thanks to Pinterest, I have
already planned my wedding down to the favors and reception play list. Yes I
want kids. Already have potential names picked out for potential children. What
women doesn’t? But why buy the shoes that are sale now, when I can save up and
get those really nice Jimmy Choos I have been eying.
I guess what I am trying to get at (I know you are all
wondering) is that it is ok to have high expectations and standards for your
relationship. It’s like they say, if you don’t stand for anything, you will
fall for everything. You have to know and declare what you will and will not
tolerate. Yes, you should compromise with your mate, but not for a mate.
#justsayin
So for my fellow single ladies, here is a little homework
assignment. Write down what you want and don’t want in a mate. It can be a
short or long as you like. In case you are wondering, here’s mine, what I can
remember:
  •       Age 34-40 (I don’t date younger man)
  •      Uses proper English (I am a punctuation nazi)
  •      1 prior (child)
  •      Must love dogs and cats (I will not leave my fur
    babies for a man)
  •    Gainfully employed (40 hours a week)
  •    Own house or apartment
  •    Good sense of humor (you have to be able to put
    up with my sarcasm

Yeah this is my list. You can love it or leave. I know my
male unicorn is out there somewhere and so is yours!
Later Days

B

#singlegirlproblems

Hey guys, thanks for coming back week after week!! I’ve decided to spread out from just online dating and to regale you my thoughts and experiences as a single girl!
This week, while hilarious in hindsight, is probably not good bedtime story reading for the kiddies! You have been warned.
File this under… things that would not happen if I was not single
or why does bat shit crazy crap happen to me all of the time.
This is a totally true story that happened Friday. I couldn’t
make this up if I tried…
So I live in a wonderfully charming Victorian house that the
landlord converted into an apartment building which I lovingly refer to as a
hippie commune. There are chickens here for crying out loud, but I digress. The
people that live here a pretty cool and we have “Friday Night Fires” during the
summer. We just hang out around a fire pit and drink. I’m not one to turn down
a beverage and conversation after a tough week, and it gives the pup some time
to sort of socialize with people and the other dogs.
So this past Friday was the first officially Friday Night
Fire of the season. No big deal. We drank, we talked, and laughed, until I
found myself caught in the most bizarre conversation of my adult life.
At around 12:30am, it was just me and one other neighbor. He
is a really nice guy and I do enjoy his quirky, off the wall conversation, but
I was not ready for this:
Neighbor Dude: “Do you find me attractive?”
Me: “Yes, I think you are attractive”
Neighbor Dude: “Do you want to go downstairs (to his
apartment)
Me: “No, I’m good….”
Creepy Neighbor Dude: “But you said you found me attractive…”
Me: “Yes, but you are married.”
Creepy Neighbor Dude: “Well, we have a kind of open
relationship…”
Trying not to run for the door, but slightly curious – Me: “Really,
how does that work?”
Creepy Neighbor Dude: “Well, you would meet with me and my
wife and if she was ok with things we would go from there.”
Me: “Oh no thank you. I am straight edge, but I veer to the left
sometimes.”
Creepy Neighbor Dude: “Why don’t you veer more to the left?”
Me: “It’s just me. I could never do something like that. I
need to get to know someone first.”
Creepy Neighbor Dude: “How long have we known each other? 9
months.”
Me: “Yes, but I am not interested.”
I would regale you with the rest of the conversation, but it
includes a comment that I really don’t want to repeat….
WTF… Seriously, the dude just asked me to sleep with him. How
do the crazies find me? You got guts to just blurt something out like that.
Granted we weren’t sober, and I get that lifestyles out there, but please do
not ask me to partake. I want to go to Heaven on day… And should I take it as a
compliment?? What do you do besides finish your beer and go inside? (That’s
what I did!)
I know that I am a nice person and all, but wow. Am I really
that nice that people think that they can ask me anything? Where does one draw
the line? I guess you won’t know someone’s answer until you ask the question,
but that question…
What I do know for sure, Creepy Neighbor Dude may not have
asked that question if I wasn’t single…
Later Days!

 

B