I attend a bi-weekly happy hour of politically minded people in Philadelphia during the summer. It’s a chance to catch up with friends, meet new people, and unwind after a crazy day of work, and raise money for a charitable organization. It is also the perfect place, if you’re me, to watch the social interactions to figure out why you’re still single.
This happy hour is a melting pot of young, old, professional, and not really professional people coming out for a common cause. You have your core group (me included) that come out to each event and others who come and go. There is no guessing what the room will look like.You would think that I would be able to talk to someone right? I did last week, but not before this lovely interaction that I have titled…The Old Men and The Preschoolers. Please enjoy…
I arrived the happy hour early, but I do so for logistical purposes. I get one drink and an appetizer in before the crowd attacks the bar and it takes forever to get served. This also gives my time to secure a prime observation point (table) for my group to survey the area. I noticed 3 attractive men had sat down at the table right next to me. “Jackpot!!” I think to myself. “Today is the day that my faith in Cupid’s golden arrow is restored.” Let’s just say that chubby cherub has not made his way back on my Christmas card list.
These three men chatted among themselves, not even giving me a second look. I was about to be bold and strike up a conversation when three “women”(they were ridiculously young) approached their table and were immediately invited to join the conversation. WTF times infinity?!? Was I that horrid looking or was I just above their age range. Now I am all Jane Goodall Gorillas in the Mist intrigued about the sight beside me. I was slightly hurt by their objection until one of the gentleman came back with a blue drink. Yes, it was blue. Like bright ass blue. I have not had anything blue to drink since I shared a fish bowl with someone at Ice Night Club. I silently thanked them for not paying attention to me and continued my scientific observation. Yet, I was jealous when the same mane brought a round of drinks for the wee lasses. Call it instinct.
The older man was trying to have a collegiate conversation with a toddler while sipping a spiked juice box. Is this what I have to compete with? My ovaries just shriveled up. Maybe it’s time to start thinking about freezing my eggs. I know how what bra to wear with a strapless dress! Yes ladies, hold up the girls! But I digress. Seriously do have to start dating older because men my age are scoping potential life partners at the playground?
Does my resting bitch face serve as a fortress for any potential suitors? I know, everything is written on my face. Trust me. If you think someone said something funky, just look at my face. You’ll know right away. If anyone knows a cure for RBF, please let me know! Thanks in advance.
As soon as ALL of my faith in humanity was almost flushed down the toilet of life, an acquaintance and I started chatting, and full disclosure, the talking turned into flirting. And it was fun!!! And here’s the kicker…. he’s younger than me!
Hey, if those three guys can talk to younger women, hell, I’m going to talk to a younger man.