Monthly Archives: May 2015

#singlegirlproblems

Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, I was treated
to this message exchange on OkCupid.
Oh the humanity…
May 24th
Malikfromphilly:
Good morning how are you doing how’s ur weekend going so far?
 
May 25th
Malikifromphilly:
Bianca its ok to say good morning it won’t hurt I promise lol
 
May 26th
Me: Hi
Malikfromphilly:
Good Morning how was your holiday weekend?
Malikfromphilly:
See that didn’t hurt did it lol
Actually it did. OK, time to be Captain Obvious. Malikfromphilly, there could
be a couple of reasons why I did not respond 1.) I was not checking OKCupid
every two seconds to see if someone has contacted me. 2.) I was busy, or 3.)
and the absolute truth, I don’t want to talk to you. BAM! I am not attracted to
you. I don’t want to meet you. I don’t want to play Words with Friends with
you. Plain and simple. I am not going to respond to you, just because you message
me every day. That’s some stalker shit.
Why is it so hard for men to comprehend
that no one is required to respond to your good morning sentence that, if you
used proper grammar should in fact be two sentences. And if someone doesn’t respond,
the fault is immediately place on the women and not the man’s lame ass attempt
to start a conversation.
When did it become a requirement for women to respond to men
whenever they speak? For instance, when walking down the street, some guy
yelled “Hey shorty”, in my general direction. When he did not hear a response
he said, “Why you have to be so mean? You not gonna say hi.” No I’m not because
last time I checked, my name is Bianca, not Shorty and how was I supposed to
know you were talking to me. Why do guys get so offended when their pathetic
attempts at striking up a conversation are shot down like a drone hovering over
the White House? When a women does not answer to the “hey shorty” that you
yelled across the street, it doesn’t mean there is something wrong with her, it
means that she doesn’t respond to being yelled at across the street on GP
(general principle). It’s that simple. So walk your lazy butt across the street
and introduce yourself properly. You may actually get a response.
So for the fellas out there, here
are some tips about how to strike up a conversation:
  •  Use
    your words – do not under any circumstances at all whistle, suck your teeth,
    woot, holler, or make any other sounds in hopes of attracting attention. You
    will get a response, but it will probably be a side eye or death glare
  • Do
    not use derogatory terms – I don’t know why I have to say it, but some people
    need to be reminded. If you don’t like to be called out your name, guess what,
    neither does the woman you are trying to talk to
  •  Be
    cautious when trying to be funny. Your attempt at a cute pick up line may fall
    flat
  • Be
    yourself – just like you can spot a weave and butt pads a mile away, women can
    see your fake attempt at being someone that you are not a mile away
  • Be
    truthful – don’t lie. Please for all things holy do not lie about your job,
    life, hobbies, kids, anything. If you do and the truth does come out… it will
    not end well for you.

 

So what happened to
Malikfromphilly? I haven’t responded. He hasn’t sent another message. Here’s
hoping he figured it out.
Later Days!

 

B

#singlegirlproblems

If you can’t love yourself, how the hell you gonna love
somebody else? Can I get an amen” ~RuPaul

The amazing RuPaul said it best. You have to love yourself
before you can even thinking about loving someone else.
How are you going to let someone love you if you don’t even
love yourself? Seriously? If you don’t know what love you want, how are you
going to ask for or accept it?
This goes back to last week’s post – what are your
standards? Are you looking for love in all the wrong places or are you looking for
the wrong kind of love? Or do you even know what you are looking for? Take a
moment to think about that?
Having trouble figuring out what is your “love type”? Try
this… date yourself.
Ok, I see you glaring at the computer screen thinking that
is already crazy girl has completely gone off the deep end with this one. And I
will admit it…. This takes some guts, but it is a completely liberating
experience. And you may find it addicting. I have!
Here are a couple of ways to find out what you want –
1.) Take yourself out on a date: I try to do this once a
month. Usually on a Saturday, I will go to a restaurant, get a table for one, eat,
and do some work. Yup, that’s it! Sometimes, I’ll treat myself to a movie as
well (if it’s in the budget). You’ll be amazed at how relaxing it is to sit at
a table by yourself and get be in the moment. Trust me, it is totally worth it.
2.) Go on vacation by yourself: I haven’t done this, well I
kind of have, but a solo vacay is in the works! On my recent trip to Disney
World, my friend had to work so I had a few hours to kill before her shift was
over. I could have stayed in the hotel and slept (which may have be the
responsible thing to do) but nooooooo, this is Disney World for crying out loud!
I changed in the hotel bathroom, had lunch and drinks at the bar while my phone
charged, and off to Epcot I went… by myself. And I has so much fun shopping,
getting on rides, and drinking my way through the World Showcase.
Now, after you have done either 1 or 2, analyze your experiences.
How did these outings make you feel? What did you like or did not like about
your date?
After going through these exercises, when you are on an
actual date, remember how you felt when you dated yourself. If the other person
does not make you feel or treat you better than you treated yourself, guess
what? They have got to go!
I know that I sound like a broken record, but repletion is
key! It’s all about what you! Yes, it may sound selfish and it is, but if you
don’t put yourself first, everyone will put yourself last. I’ll let that sink
in for a minute or a week 😉
So love yourself… so you can love someone else! Can I get an
amen!
Later Days!

 

B

#singlegirlproblems

Right after my birthday this year, I asked my girlfriends to
help me on my quest to find a man. Along my with this request was a list of 10 criteria
for any potential suitors. While some may see such a list as extensive or
picky, I am at a certain age where I know what I want. But is that a bad thing?
Am I sabotaging a relationship by casting such a narrow net?
No.
Yup, I said it. Look I’m 34, no kids, job, apartment, and a car.
I am officially in Unicorn status. And I know that there may be other male unicorns
out there, but I will not be a spinster for the rest of my life because I
cannot find this elusive creature.
But…. And this is a huge but. I will not settle for the
first male with a pulse, who can speak English, and shows an ounce of interest
in me. Settling for the one who is right here right now as my biological clock
is ticking like a train horn in my ear is not the solution to my current
situation.
Yes I want to get married. Thanks to Pinterest, I have
already planned my wedding down to the favors and reception play list. Yes I
want kids. Already have potential names picked out for potential children. What
women doesn’t? But why buy the shoes that are sale now, when I can save up and
get those really nice Jimmy Choos I have been eying.
I guess what I am trying to get at (I know you are all
wondering) is that it is ok to have high expectations and standards for your
relationship. It’s like they say, if you don’t stand for anything, you will
fall for everything. You have to know and declare what you will and will not
tolerate. Yes, you should compromise with your mate, but not for a mate.
#justsayin
So for my fellow single ladies, here is a little homework
assignment. Write down what you want and don’t want in a mate. It can be a
short or long as you like. In case you are wondering, here’s mine, what I can
remember:
  •       Age 34-40 (I don’t date younger man)
  •      Uses proper English (I am a punctuation nazi)
  •      1 prior (child)
  •      Must love dogs and cats (I will not leave my fur
    babies for a man)
  •    Gainfully employed (40 hours a week)
  •    Own house or apartment
  •    Good sense of humor (you have to be able to put
    up with my sarcasm

Yeah this is my list. You can love it or leave. I know my
male unicorn is out there somewhere and so is yours!
Later Days

B

Just Go With It!

Well today could only be classified as a Murphy’s Law kind
of day, and I chalk it up to the Universe realizing that I am two short days
ways from vacation.
Everything started out well – got up, worked out, listened
to a podcast while I got dressed, packed my lunch, drank my smoothie and headed
out the door.
My walk to the train station was the same, but then I got to
the platform. My scheduled train was cancelled. Not delayed. Not coming at all.
Now I had a few of options. I could 1.) Drive to work (nope, I’m saving my gas)
2.) Panic or 3.) Go with it and get to work. Gotta make the donuts so it’s off
to work  go. Luckily for me, one other passenger
called SEPTA and confirmed that the train was indeed cancelled, but that the
Chestnut Hill West Line was still running. He seemed like he knew where he was
going so I followed him (hopefully I didn’t seem like a stalker) and hopped on
the 26 bus to the Chelten Ave train station.
As I sat on the bus I realized something. I now have another
way to get to work! Soon I was back on track (no pun intended) and on my way to
work. Everything was fine until a group of students on a field trip invaded the
car…. I use my train rides as both work and decompression time before and after
my 9-5 job. Just imagine my shock and chagrin when I was suddenly surrounded by
20 middle schoolers. No biggie. I just blasted some Billy Joel and responded to
Facebook messages on my much shorter than normal train ride. Sweet bliss…
Work was work. Everyday normal cat wrangling (gathering
people for meetings) at its best. I was so eager to get out of there that I
forgot to get change to do laundry for my trip…. No big deal. There is a gas station
right next to the train station… Back on track.
I could have very easily broken down into a sobbing heap of
mush several times today because things didn’t go exactly the way I planned,
but I didn’t. I just went with it and everything worked itself out without my
having to do anything. The Universe is working for you all of the time. Well if
that is the case, why am I stuck?” Yeah I asked myself that questions to. Then
I learned to stop fixing and just be. 
When life zigs and zags, go along with it
instead of trying to build a road to where you think you need to go. Yes, you
can and should make decisions and choices about your life, but when something
comes up “out of the blue” (I believe there are no coincidences with God). Don’t
think of it as a stop light. Think of it as a detour. It’s just a different way
of going. Before you realize what happened, you will right back on your path in
no time!
Later Days!
B

I can’t keep calm…. I’m going to Disney World!

I can’t keep calm. I am going on vacation. But not just any
vacay…. I’m going to Disney World and I didn’t need to win a championship to do
it!
The Man

Who doesn’t love Disney or Disney World? I know that we are
all over Frozen (no I don’t want to build a snow man), but come on. It’s
flipping Disney World!!

Magic Kingdom At Night
What do I love about Disney World? EVERYTHING!!! It is the
only place on earth where I can sing Disney songs at the top of my lungs,
inhale funnel cake, steak, and Dole Whips, while running down Main Street USA
and no one thinks you are crazy; because they are doing the same thing.
The Magical Arch
 As soon as I arrive
under that magical arch that says “Welcome to Disney Word”, I am home. I am instantly
a kid again and all of my grown up problems are out of the window. The only thing
on my mind is when I will ride Space Mountain and get my Dole Whip. If you have
haven’t tried one, it is frozen dessert deliciousness.
I can’t freaking wait. I can wait for the 5am flight, but I can’t
wait for the tingling feeling that will come over me once I get to my happy
place.
Be Our Guest
What am I looking forward to? (In no particular order – well
maybe some order):
Le Cellier Restaurant
(Epcot) – the best steak ever!!! I don’t eat beef, but I will this weekend! And
the Poutine and Wine are spectacular
Be Our Guest
Restaurant
(Magic Kingdom) – my all-time favorite Disney movie is Beauty
and the Beast. I can recite it word for word. So just imagine, sitting down to
Breakfast, Lunch or Dinner in the Beast’s castle… And the Beast walks through
while you are eating… and they have the Grey Stuff!!! Such a cool place to eat
and thanks to some Disney Magic, it looks like you are in the French Alps when
you look out the window
Dole Whips (Magic
Kingdom) – Frozen pineapple custardy goodness. So refreshing, hope mine doesn’t
fall out of my hand like last time
Space Mountain (Magic
Kingdom) – This was the first roller
coaster I ever rode in my life. I was 7 and it was the start of my roller
coaster fascination (just ask any family member)
Captain E-O (Epcot)
–in all of its 1980’s glory. Michael Jackson in a cheesy 3-D movie. Sign me up.
A total classic.
Magic Kingdom
Absolutely no explanation needed
Fanstasmic (MGM Studios) – the best evening entertainment at Disney
World. Yes I said I, because it is true! Such a good show with songs, drama,
and fireworks.
There are so many other things
that I am looking forward to, but this is just the top of the list! And yes it
is true what they say, you do need a vacation from your Disney Vacation, but it
is so worth it!
So here’s to all my Disney Lovers,
Dreamers, and Believers.
All you need is a little faith,
trust and Pixie Dust

 

Later Days!

#singlegirlproblems

Hey guys, thanks for coming back week after week!! I’ve decided to spread out from just online dating and to regale you my thoughts and experiences as a single girl!
This week, while hilarious in hindsight, is probably not good bedtime story reading for the kiddies! You have been warned.
File this under… things that would not happen if I was not single
or why does bat shit crazy crap happen to me all of the time.
This is a totally true story that happened Friday. I couldn’t
make this up if I tried…
So I live in a wonderfully charming Victorian house that the
landlord converted into an apartment building which I lovingly refer to as a
hippie commune. There are chickens here for crying out loud, but I digress. The
people that live here a pretty cool and we have “Friday Night Fires” during the
summer. We just hang out around a fire pit and drink. I’m not one to turn down
a beverage and conversation after a tough week, and it gives the pup some time
to sort of socialize with people and the other dogs.
So this past Friday was the first officially Friday Night
Fire of the season. No big deal. We drank, we talked, and laughed, until I
found myself caught in the most bizarre conversation of my adult life.
At around 12:30am, it was just me and one other neighbor. He
is a really nice guy and I do enjoy his quirky, off the wall conversation, but
I was not ready for this:
Neighbor Dude: “Do you find me attractive?”
Me: “Yes, I think you are attractive”
Neighbor Dude: “Do you want to go downstairs (to his
apartment)
Me: “No, I’m good….”
Creepy Neighbor Dude: “But you said you found me attractive…”
Me: “Yes, but you are married.”
Creepy Neighbor Dude: “Well, we have a kind of open
relationship…”
Trying not to run for the door, but slightly curious – Me: “Really,
how does that work?”
Creepy Neighbor Dude: “Well, you would meet with me and my
wife and if she was ok with things we would go from there.”
Me: “Oh no thank you. I am straight edge, but I veer to the left
sometimes.”
Creepy Neighbor Dude: “Why don’t you veer more to the left?”
Me: “It’s just me. I could never do something like that. I
need to get to know someone first.”
Creepy Neighbor Dude: “How long have we known each other? 9
months.”
Me: “Yes, but I am not interested.”
I would regale you with the rest of the conversation, but it
includes a comment that I really don’t want to repeat….
WTF… Seriously, the dude just asked me to sleep with him. How
do the crazies find me? You got guts to just blurt something out like that.
Granted we weren’t sober, and I get that lifestyles out there, but please do
not ask me to partake. I want to go to Heaven on day… And should I take it as a
compliment?? What do you do besides finish your beer and go inside? (That’s
what I did!)
I know that I am a nice person and all, but wow. Am I really
that nice that people think that they can ask me anything? Where does one draw
the line? I guess you won’t know someone’s answer until you ask the question,
but that question…
What I do know for sure, Creepy Neighbor Dude may not have
asked that question if I wasn’t single…
Later Days!

 

B

#operationundertwohours…..

May 3, 2015…. A day that will live in infamy. Well, at least
in my life. May 3, 2015 was the 36th Annual Broad Street Run. This was
the day I would prove to myself and the world (well, just me again) just what I
was capable of. This would be my first race in 2 years. I was up for the
challenge and I wasn’t about to let my $150 investment (shoes and registration fee),
not to mention the two months that I spent training for this race go to waste.
It wasn’t until about halfway through my training that I
realized I had changed as a runner. I was stronger (thanks 21 Day Fix Extreme)
and calmer. But the biggest difference was me. I was no longer worried about how
everyone else doing. I was only focused on myself. I stopped fearing what would
happen if I ran faster. I just did it. After the first couple of weeks, when I
saw that my pace was consistently around 10 to 10:30 minutes, my ultimate goal
was formed: run Broad Street in under 2 hours….
That was in my head during all my training runs for two
months – #undertwohours
2015 Broad Street Run Powered by Disney
I thought that goal was in jeopardy when I got possibly the
worst night sleep ever. I honestly woke up every hour on the hour until my
alarm went off at 4:30am…. Yes 4:30am. I groggily got dressed, drank my race
day cup of coffee and headed out the door. Everything went smoothly. Made it to
the stadium parking lot by 5:15am. Was on the first train out and the start line
around 6:00am. Golden. Only two hours until race time…

 

On the train to the start – I think I am still half asleep

Waiting is the worst. You’re at the start, wanted to get
going and get the race over with, but you have to wait for the actual start of
the race. Then you have to wait for thousands of people to start before you,
which does not take minutes. While I am thankful for corrals and staggered
start, I can’t stand the start-stop rhythm until you finally get to the start
line and you are on your way!

The start – The calm before the storm
My memory of the race is fuzzy because I wasn’t thinking
about “the race”. I just let my mind wander. There were a couple of times along
the course where I paused my music to listen to the crowd (I had a kick ass
playlist), especially at Temple. The crowds were amazing and thick along the
entire race course. Church goers waving from the steps right after services, the
funniest race signs ever, little kids handing out high fives. It was awesome.
It was a little touchy around mile 7.5. Clearly my two
apples had been worked off and I felt myself fading fast. Besides finishing in
under two hours, my underlining goal always is to not pass out or need medical
attention. After some Gatorade at the last two water stops I was good.
Soon the Navy Yard was in view and the finish line was in
sight. I had to do some fancy crowd maneuvering, but I kept my pace and started
that last sprint to the finish. Time kind of stood still as I waited for my
watch to bring up my time… 1:46:21. Not only did I beat my goal, I crushed it!
Yes I did cry, but I didn’t ball. Too many people around.
When people ask me how the race was, I tell them that it was
fun. And it was. A little on the hot side, but I had the time of my life.
Because I didn’t think about it. I just went with it.  Sometimes you just have to go with the flow and
let God steer you.
#operationundertwohours …. #missionaccomplished
Boom!
Later Days!

 

B

#singlegirlproblems

What’s the number one reason why I do not click one a profile? Mugshot profile pic? Nope. But it is a close second. The first… A Horrible Username. A username, much like a message, can reveal a lot about a person before you even decide to view their profile.  It hurts my soul that guys don’t realize that a lot of women don’t choose them because their username absolutely sucks. I could have possibly scrolled past several potential Prince Charmings because I was either a.) not amused b.) disgusted or c.) scared the fuck out by their username.

Here is a little word association on the top cringe-worthy usernames that I have come across on OK Cupid (so far) and in no particular order:

mrsoftlips80 – Thanks to a lot of lip balm and sorry dude, I don’t kiss on the first date. Plus, you will never know how soft my lips are.

mrtreathersorite Not rite now. You had enough characters left to spell “right” correctly. Unless that spelling was already taken by someone else… I’ll check and see.

cougarlover39 – What is the current age range for cougars? At 39, aren’t you dating someone in your own age bracket if she is a cougar. Or does it make you feel better to call her a cougar? Inquiring minds want to know.

hersheydark7 –  Ummm, no and after reading this, I am no longer a fan of Hershey’s dark chocolate. Thanks for ruining everything.

kingofromance1  – Honestly, if you were the king of romance, would you be on a free online dating site looking for your queen?

chocolate-supriz – Gag…. and again. You can spell out the word surprise, But no thank you ever in life, times infinity…

A-Catch4u  – Not catching me any time soon

incrediblelover4 Obviously you are not an incredible lover as you are trolling this site looking for companionship. What shocks me more… incrediblelover1-3 were already taken. Whomp Whomp

troypussykilla – There are not enough words in the old Oxford English and Webster’s Dictionary combined, nor all of Wikipedia to describe how this makes my skin absolutely crawl.

So fellas (if there are any men) who read this blog. Please take note. If I could come up with these associations about you in less than a minute, there are probably thousands more doing the same thing. Which is probably why you are, what for it…. STILL SINGLE.

Please take my advice… choose your username wisely… You entering into a relationship may depend on it!

Later Days!

B